The Void

I am starving. Starving for more and more of Christ... and I can't seem to get enough. Today I felt spiritually starved like I have never felt before. I was looking to all the wrong things for satisfaction. Obviously nothing I was searching for at the time was able to make me feel satisfied. 

What I was doing was placing something, like friends, in a place that only God was able to fit in to. How can any person be responsible for filling a void that only someone so perfect, and so loving can ever fufill. It seems crazy and yet I do it all the time. Every time I say to myself, "Your nobody until somebody loves you" I continue to starve myself and then my friendships become my idols. Friends were not made for worshipping. I mean its not like I go around bowing down to my friends literally, but any thing that you give more devotion to than God, I guess I would say that is worshipping. 

"Our hearts are idol making factories," so to be able to just stand up and say once "because I have God I can live without you" is crazy. This is something that has to be done constantly. I am a person who likes a results fast and easy, but there is nothing that says leaving your idols behind is fast or easy... cause it's not. It would be just great if it was! But then there is really no struggle to understand and know God if everything was easy. We are called to endure "in our struggle against sin." (Hebrews 12)

Sometimes I fill my void with Swaziland. Somedays all I want to be able to do is wish away the next two months. I know that if I follow God's plan for me then I will be completely satisfied. Complete satisfaction is impossible without God. 

I look at Swazi and it almost seems impossible to me. I'm 14, I'm in eighth grade, and God wants me in Swaziland. I don't think I am a strong person. So why does he want me there? That, I might not ever know, but I do know that because God has made it clear in the Bible that he wants me there this summer I will follow in obedience him. I will follow him into the love and the sickness. While Jesus turns my nervousness into anxious enthusiasm I choose to follow him, and follow him radically. 

I want to share with video, its 2 minutes, so you have time. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoicm4wnQ4c

Pray with me!

Emily

P.S. This is a little bit everywhere, but my thoughts are everywhere, sorry :)

My Passion

Blogging is something new to me and I hope that this will help me to express my feelings about Swaziland. For those who don't know, this Summer I'm heading to Swaziland, Africa for four weeks with an organization called Adventures in Missions that takes groups of high schoolers to pour out the love of Christ and to give hope to those who don't have it. As I prepare for this journey, that is only 65 days away, there will be many experiences and thoughts that I hope will encourage you.

God has given me a passion for serving the poorest of the poor, the weakest of the weak. My heart just is broken when I see suffering, especially in third world countries. I yern for all the nations to know and love Jesus, and I believe Swaziland is where I start. I want kick soccer balls with orphans, I want to stand by the poor, I want to give hope in the suffering. The eternal hope that I have. I want to give up myself for these people. I want to just stop. Stop pretending that what I see is okay with me. I see Potomac, and then I see Swaziland. It is not okay for me to sit around in Potomac when there are people in Swazi that need hope, love, and peace that only Christ can give them.

I'll be the first one to say that what I do here is completely ridiculous. We buy jeans that cost over 200 dollars, designer bags, expensive makeup, shirts that cost more than meals. But why do we all continue to do this? Why? Where is the line? What is reality?

I know God is in control even in poverty. And through this passion I want to further glorify my God. My goal is to live a radical life for Jesus. I have been given so much and I believe I am on a journey to use it for God's Kingdom.

Please continue to pray for me and the team!

Love,
Emily